


Telenovela

by bluemermaiid



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Bisexual Character of Color, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Crack and Angst, Everyone is Queer, F/F, Fluff and Crack, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Sexuality talk, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaiid/pseuds/bluemermaiid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amanda agrees to meet a distraught Nick Amaro for coffee, as the afternoon unfolds and the two detectives share their views on love and relationships she finds out Nick might need her support in coming to terms with himself. Crack!fic with a touch of angst and fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telenovela

**Author's Note:**

> Rolivia and Barmaro (with some mentions of rollaro).
> 
> AU where basically no one is straight because that's how I like my elite squad: very queer.
> 
> Set sometime after "Padre Sandungero" (16x12).
> 
> Also I may or may not be considering to follow up on more chapters of Rolivia and Barmaro fluff/smut, that's really up to you guys.

"Hey".

"Hey", she replied hesitantely.

Amanda watched him carefully as he took his coat off, pulled over his chair, placed his cellphone on top of the table and finally sat down. She decided he looked as shaken as he sounded when he had abruptly asked her if she could go out for a cup of coffee.

It was 4pm on a sunday afternoon, the New York City sky was covered by soft gray clouds that insisted on pouring down a thin and pointless rain from time to time, still, the city was as beautiful as it always was on a sunday - for those who spent their weekdays running around vicious perps up and down the streets, sunday was almost a holy day. Which was why Amanda was caught so off guard by Nick's phone call, she was sure he had more interesting things to do with his free day, even if his kids weren't around.

"You ok?", she opted for the direct approach, after all, they were close, even if they weren't exactly friends.

"Yeah, yeah", he replied distractedly, waving his hand as to brush off her worries.

Still, he didn't look at her, he didn't speak or even ask for the waitress. He just sat there silently, as if trying to organize his thoughts or make sense of something Amanda was absolutely clueless about.

"Mm, Nick", the blonde detective lowered her head, trying to make eye contact, "You called me, ya know?", she furrowed her brow.

"Why are people so complicated?", Nick bursted out, frowning as his empty eyes looked right through her.

She was caught off guard again.  _Boy, something's really wrong with him -_ she thought.

"Well, they just are. We all are", she paused, "I could help you more if I knew which  _people_ you were talking about. Is it Maria? Is she making things hard for you to see Zara again?".

"No, no. Maria's... fine", he knew that wasn't actually true, but he couldn't be bothered to think about Maria as long as she kept their deal about Zara, and that had been working out for the last few weeks.

"Nick, what the hell's wrong?", Amanda could feel herself losing her temper. As much as she liked and cared about Nick he had pulled her out of a perfectly cozy lazy sunday and if he wasn't gonna make it worth her time he was definitively gonna hear some.

"Can we just order a coffee or something?", the detective asked irritatedly.

Three minutes later they had ordered coffees and pancakes - Amanda rolling her eyes at the thought of having to pay for food she was already gonna eat at home anyway - and a minute later the coffee arrived. Nick took a sip of the hot liquid and felt the warm caffeine give him energy, then he finally flickered his eyes up to his colleague who still watched him worriedly.

"I'm sorry", he shyly started, "Everything's fine, there's really no urgency. I just wanted to talk. I kinda  _needed_ to talk".

"So", she turned her palms upwards, "Let's talk. What do you wanna talk about?".

Amanda thought quickly for a moment before biting her lip. It dawned on her that they had never talked about  _them_ , about their brief relationship - if one could even call it that.

"Is this about us?", she asked.

"What?", now he was the one caught off guard, and the blushed rose in embarrassment, " _Us_? No, it isn't... Why? Do you think we should talk about it? I mean, it was nice while it lasted, but it was,  _you know ,_ and such a long time ago that I didn't really..."

"Oh no, god, no". What the hell had she done, now he probably thought she still wanted him or something. "It ended for me when it ended for you. Trust me, I'm  _way_ past that", she giggled to herself before sipping her own coffee.

"Oh", he smirked, causing her to widen her eyes, "You seein' someone, Rollins?".

"I didn't say that", Amanda replied defensively.

"You  _have_ been pretty happy lately, the whole squad noticed that", he pointed out.

"Now, is that so?", she asked, finding the whole charade actually amusing.

"Yeah, it is so. Fin noticed it, but he kept quiet 'cause you're his partner. Carisi started mouthing out but Liv told him to keep out of your business", his face crunched up in a pleased smile. Nick was pretty quiet and paranoid, but as most of the squad he was very fond of the occasional gossip.

"Ah, she did? So even Liv noticed?", Amanda pursed her lips together and swallowed her laughter.

"Even the boss. You're very bad at hiding, Amanda", he pointed his finger to her.

"So are you, Amaro", she smilingly gulped on her coffee as she watched his face turn red and go from puzzled to worry. He placed his elbows on the table and leaned in closer to her.

" _What_ are you talking about?", he blurted out.

"There it is. There  _is_ someone in your life", her smile was even wider now.

"You're playing with me now, is that it?", Nick seemed legitimately outraged.

"No, no, I'm clean", she rose her hands up, "Cards on the table. Well, no cards, considering it's me. Also no bets. But the guys  _were_ willing to bet that you're seeing someone".

"They  _were_? Did they bet on anyone in particular?", he tried to keep his cool, but the worry transpired through his voice.

"They thought it was still me. But I told them we aren't an item", all she wanted to do was laugh. This conversation was much too awkward.

"Damn, did everyone know about us?", he scratched his head.

"Seems so. I guess we  _both_ are very bad at hiding that sort of stuff".

"You think we can't keep our relationships low-key?", his question was legit.

"I don't know", she frowned, "I don't think it's so much that we can't keep our relationships low-key... I think it's just that we - you know -  us together, we were too explosive, too... too too much. Does that even make sense?", he nodded and she continued with her explanation despite how stupid she felt, "Tensions ran high, people noticed that. And anyway, I guess it's always harder to hide when it's someone you work with".

The intensity in her voice at the last sentence didn't go unnoticed to Nick, but he wasn't sure if he should flat out just ask her if she was talking about someone in particular. He decided for the more casual approach, figuring they would reach to a name as the conversation unfolded.

"Yeah, I think I agree with you", he sipped on the lukewarm coffee, "Less explosive relationships go under the radar with more ease".

"God", she laughed, "Barba was so right".

" _What?"_ , the latino detective asked nervously.

"Barba once said precincts were a lot like  _telenovelas_ most of the time", he smiled at what Amanda assumed was her bad pronunciation of the spanish word, "Ya know, the relationships and all that. It  _does_ get pretty cheesy".

"He's right", Nick replied.

His expression suddenly grew darker and once again his black eyes stared at what seemed to be a blank space. Amanda didn't know what she had said wrong, but she had definitively hit a nerve somewhere, sending him back again to the distressingly numb place he seemed to be the moment he arrived at the café.

"What happened, Nick?", her voice seemed to get him off a trance, and he abruptly turned back to face her, muttering a question, "Is this about this mysterious woman who got you all smiley these last few months?".

"There is no mysterious woman, Amanda", he almost whispered, hoping she would get the clue.

"Oh. It's a woman I  _know_?", she placed her hand on top of his but he quickly pulled his back.

"There's just... There's...", Nick sighed in frustration. God, he just wanted to bang over the coffee mugs on the table. He clenched his fists and thought to himself that it was his own fault he was in this position, and that violence wasn't gonna get him anywhere. "Can we just talk about something else?".

"Okay, yes, we can", Amanda was definitively worried now, but she figured out it was better to comply and let him work on his own time. She knew enough how difficult things were better talked when one felt safe, and not pushed to disclose. "So, how's Zara?".

They spent the next half hour talking about Amaro's kids, how bright they were, how well they were doing in school... Then they ordered more pancakes and started talking about kids, how raising them was challenging but overall rewarding. Nick shared his parenting tales and Amanda listened with a smile on her face, she talked about how she had been thinking of maybe having children of her own someday and he was completely startled. And this brought them back to the subject of relationships. And love.

"So, kids, hun?", she pursed her lips and nodded, "I never thought I'd hear you seem so interested in children, Amanda. What changed your mind?".

"Mmm", the blonde detective wasn't sure how far she wanted this talk to go, "Let's just say I've been spending more time around children and it's made me change my views on them".

"Oh", he wasn't sure how to approach it, "You're seeing someone who already has kids?".

"Don't use that patronizing tone on me, Nick", she warned him.

"I didn't mean to... I'm sorry", he waved a napkin up, as if waving a white flag.

"You're forgiven", she laughed, putting his napkin down, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, ask".

"What do you search for in a relationship?", Amanda inquired.

"Wow, if the question is gonna be that heavy I might need a real drink", he joked.

"Seriously, Nick. You called me here because of something on that department, didn't you? I'm not gonna pressure you to tell me what it is. So, let's just talk", she held his hand but now he didn't pull back, "What we had together came from a need of companionship, someone to fill the bed at night. What does it take for a woman to be the one to fill your bed every night?".

"You making a move at me?", he asked with an awkward smile.

"Jeez, no. You try to be nice for a moment and a guy always think you want him", she nodded her head in censure.

"I was joking, Amanda. Mm, what I want in a relationship, what does it take for someone to be the one to fill my bed every night", he repeated the questions.

Amanda scanned her eyes through him and frowned, biting her lip. She had asked him what it took for a  _woman_ to be the one to fill his bed and he repeated the question to himself as what it took for  _someone._ She knew that sort of behavior all too well, she had done it herself in multiple occasions when she was in the closet about her bisexuality - hell, she still did it now. If she was asked about a  _boyfriend_ she'd say she wasn't seeing  _anyone_ at the moment. If she was asked about a special  _guy_ she'd say there wasn't  _anyone_ special in her life. It was the usual "Don't assume me straight but don't actually think me otherwise" talk.  _Been there, done that, still do that._

Her blonde head rolled from left to right in disbelief. Nah, just because Nick had gotten upset when she asked about a mysterious woman and because he was talking like that didn't mean he was seeing a guy or something. She was just much too impressed by her own historic, or so she wanted to think so. As much as the idea of a bisexual Nick seemed out of this world to her she just couldn't stop her mind from reeling over the possibilities, and it went so far away he had started talking and she wasn't even listening.

"Amanda? Are you listening?", he watched her stunned face.

"Yeah, yeah. You said you thought a lot after Maria left but you weren't sure until now".

"I didn't say until now", Nick blushed and worriedly gazed at her.

"Sorry, I must have misheard", she gulped. What the hell was she even thinking of. "Go on".

"Well...", he frowned, but her smile made him continue talking, "I thought I just wanted someone like Maria, but without the things that made it difficult for us to work together, you know?".

"But now you don't think that's what you want?", she inferred.

"No. I don't think that's what I want at all. I was just too clung on the idea of Maria. After I accepted we were over I realized that what I wanted was something I never had with her", he paused, filling Amanda with anticipation, "I just want a partner, you know? Not like a cop partner", he laughed, "But someone who stands by my side, as equals, someone who respects me, accepts me, someone I can talk to about anything, be it things from work - which are always the hardest things to talk about - or just talk. I sound silly, I bet".

"I don't bet", she joked, "And you don't sound silly. I hear ya on all that. I think you'll find it, Nick".

"What, now you believe in love?", he mocked her.

"Yes, I do, buddy. I believe that it takes a bumpy road but you just gotta have a good truck to ride through it", she smiled.

"But how do you know when things are just too complicated? And not worth all the difficulties", Amanda watched the pain behind his dark eyes shine through. She was almost certain of her suspicions.

"Well, I guess you just feel it when it's worth it. You see it in your loved one's smile, in their care for you, in their voice after a long and shitty day full of horrible cases. You just know it. Even if you don't admit it to yourself sometimes", she squeezed his hand slightly.

Tears started to flood his eyes and he clenched his jaw to stop them from falling down his cheeks.

"You speak that from experience? You sound very in love".

"I am, Nick. What about -"

She was interrupted by the buzzing of his cellphone. The two detectives just watched it vibrate until it stopped. Amanda opened her mouth to talk but before she could it started buzzing again.

"Shouldn't you get that?", she spoke softly.

"I...", he pursed his lips and kept watching the mobile ring once more.

"Isn't  _it_ the reason why you needed to talk?", Amanda asked him.

Before he was able to reply the small device fell to the floor after buzzing through the edge of the table. Amanda watched the name plastered across the screen with a questioning look, trying to piece together the puzzle she had.

" _Gringito?",_ she inquired.

"Mm, that's a friend", he replied as he brusquely picked up his cellphone and clasped it on his closed fist.

"Isn't that a bit of a racist nickname?", the blonde decided to poke around and see what she got.

"It's a joke. And he changed his own contact name. I didn't know it", Nick brushed his fingers through his forehead. He was sweating and his face was turning red.

"So it's a close friend", his wide eyes flickered to her, "If he changed his own contact name, I mean".

"Yeah", he nodded, "A close friend".

"Is he from work?", she continued with the questioning.

"What does it matter, Amanda?", he now answered angrily, banging his fist onto the table.

"Why did you ask me here, Nick? Why?", she was tired of being nice and getting nowhere. If he could only talk through yelling, so be it.

"Just what I told you before, I needed to talk. And it was all going well until you decided to poke around my personal life. Coming here was a mistake", he was ready to pick out his wallet when she held onto his arm.

"Okay, listen to me", her voice was smooth, causing him to stop and look up, "You can tell me anything, Nick, really. You call me up on a sunday afternoon, all distressed and shit, say you need to talk, I say okay, I bail on a nice stroll out on the park and I come here be with you because I care and worry about you and you won't tell me who's this  _person_ that's getting you all worked up?".

"You never told me who's the one that's got you all smiles and a believer in true love", he teased her.

"God, Nick, seriously? What? You're gonna go all childish on me and ' _I'll tell you if you tell me first'_?", she couldn't believe how stubborn he was, even when he was the one in need of help and support.

She stared at him and he straightened his back, ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"It all started after my father's trial. We had a connection that was already there but we never really noticed, you know?", she nodded in confirmation, "It didn't become physical until sometime later, because of reasons related to me. Well, it doesn't matter, that part. Not anymore...", he paused, opening up about it was clearly still painful for him, and Amanda was pretty sure she knew why, "Okay, sometimes it still matters. It mattered today".

"You know that if I didn't already know what you were talking about this whole thing you just said would make no sense, right?", she wanted to be delicate, but she felt confrontation was exactly what he needed now.

"You already  _know_??", his eyes seemed like two black pearls.

"Don't worry, it's nothing you've done or said before this conversation. It's just the way you talked today", she watched his face fill with terror, "But don't worry. A straight person definitively wouldn't have caught it".

"You're not straight", he made of his affirmation a question.

"Nope. I'm bisexual", she once again held his hand, "Now will you  _actually_ tell me what's going on? Without the code talk".

"Rafael and I are dating", he almost whispered, "We had an argument today. He said I had internalized biphobia", he shrugged, "It sounds like a disease".

"It sure feels like one", Amanda replied, "But first let me say I'm so happy for you two!", she paused, "I mean, if you're happy. You seem happy. Apart from today".

"That's the thing. I am happy", he sighed.

"Then why is it a thing?", her understanding blue eyes watched him.

"Well, it's not like we can disclose. Plus I've got two kids. Two exes. Women exes. Who I really don't think would understand it that quickly", Nick brushed his hand through his forehead.

"Don't even think or worry about disclosing just now. I don't think your dynamics have changed because of your relationship and the last thing you guys want is 1PP up your asses. It will probably get to a point where they'll have to know, but I think that shouldn't be your concern now. I actually think the same about your exes. Even if you are sure that you want this relationship to last -"

"I am, Amanda", this was the first time he had been firm on something during the entire conversation.

"They don't have to know just now. Was it Bar- Rafael who asked you that?", she wondered.

"No, he said basically the same thing you said", Nick replied embarrassingly.

"And he's right. Trust us. He won't feel like you love him less if you work on accepting yourself before talking about it to other people. Plus he seems like a private person".

"Yeah. It was never our idea to actually... _come out",_ he drank a bit of the water before continuing, "But you're right. I need to accept myself fully before anything".

"Being loved kinda makes it easier, doesn't it?", she said with a smile.

"Yes, it does", he blushed, "When did you know you were bisexual?"

"When I came out of my mamma's womb?", they laughed together, "I was very young".

"I never really", he swallowed dry, "I never really felt attracted to men before. But Rafael Barba...", he smirked.

"He  _does_ have a flare", Amanda agreed, "And I actually think you two are quite a pair".

"Thank you, Amanda. I couldn't be more grateful to you. You're a real friend", he smiled.

"You're welcome. I'm sorry things are still kinda fuzzy to you. I'm always here if you need me. Well, preferably not in the middle of our day off", she laughed.

"So, who were you going out on a stroll to the park with?".

"Liv and Noah", she looked at her wristwatch, "Actually, I think I can still catch them".

She rose up from her seat with a jump, took out a few bills from her wallet and put on her coat. A struck over Nick got up and quickly did the same.

"Wait up, you're with  _Olivia?",_ he couldn't believe he would ever ask her that.

"Yeah, I am", she smiled contently, "We've been together for quite sometime now".

"After she and Cassidy broke up?", he asked to which she nodded in response, "Right under our noses and we didn't even notice!".

"Don't be so appalled, we do our homework, we are discrete. Plus it's like I said, less explosive relationships go under the radar with more ease", she faced him as she gathered her thoughts, "Also straight relationships always stand out, one eye contact and the whole precinct is talking. When it's two women they can be making out and people still wonder if they aren't just  _good friends"._

 _"_ Jesus Christ. Rafael is right. That squad  _is_ like a  _telenovela._ Or worse", they both laughed together, amused at the turned life had taken.

"You know what? Gimme your phone", she asked him and while he picked it up from his coat pocket she made a call on her own.

The call ringed twice before she heard that voice she loved so much.

"Liv, are you still at the park?", Nick watched her with a frown on his forehead, "I just finished talking with Nick and him and Barba are going to meet you there at the park", Amanda smiled at was was said and Nick worried even more, "Yes, you were right about it. And I told him about us. So yeah, we meet you there soon. I love you".

"How fast do you think Rafael can get to the park?", Amanda asked Nick.

"Ten minutes, probably", he was still taken aback.

"Great, can you call him?".

Despite leaving his lover on a bad note, he still wanted to make things right and he didn't want to refuse Amanda's invitation, so he dialed the number and waited for the answer as he watched the blonde give him a little talking space.

"Hello, I'm sorry for not answering before. No, no, it was my fault, _cariño_. I'm the one who's sorry...".

The call lasted no longer than five minutes, and everything was settled for a nice afternoon in central park.

"He'll get there in ten minutes", Nick alerted Amanda. His face carried the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face in ages, and she felt happy for her friend, happy for herself, happy that amidst all the chaos in their lives and the chaos they saw in their work they were still able to find solace and comfort in another two wonderful people who also needed solace and comforting.

"That's great, Nick", she squeezed his shoulder before they began their walk towards the park, the light rain slowly fading away and the soft rays of sun peaking down the horizon as the twilight approached.

"Hey, Amanda", he paused on his track, "What did you mean on the cellphone when you said ' _Yes, you were right about it'_ and then you smiled? Liv already knew about me and Rafael?".

"Yeah, she knew. She told me a while ago but I kinda didn't give it much thought".

"But... how?".

"Liv always knows".

**Author's Note:**

> Kudo if you also don't understand what I was thinking when I wrote this.
> 
> Also, should I post this on ff?


End file.
